More than a little nervous to write about this

You know, I have a lot of opinions about a lot of different things. Sometimes, my opinions on different things frustrate people......heck, my own opinions frustrate me every once in a while. But for a while now, I have written or talked about a number of things that I am passionate about or am interested in. However, there has been one thing I have avoided writing or talking about completely because of the sensitivity of the issue and all of the negative directions it can turn when it is discussed.

My opinions on this particular subject started more than a year ago as my wife and I were sitting in Johnny Tamales eating enchiladas and enjoying some good conversation. We were talking about how a lot of different states had recently been involved in the same-sex marriage debate and what individual states were doing with their own marriage laws. Inevitably, the discussion came to what the "typical" evangelical or Religious Right response is on the issue, which is to do everything they can to ban the same-sex union and keep marriage sacred (no commentary here on how Christians have some of the highest divorce rates in the country). What struck me that night was not what states are or are not trying to pass this legislature or what Christians' responses usually are to this, but rather something else. I found myself thinking: "Is allowing or banning same-sex marriage what really matters in that whole debate?"

And I decided it's not. In my opinion, here is why:

How have we as Christians been labeled in this whole debate by the media, by critics, and by the homosexual population? As a group of fundamentalists that hate gays and wish they did not exist, that's how. And that's just wrong; dead wrong.

There are plenty of examples floating around out there that fuel the fire to this theory. Check out this article which quotes the Prime Minister of the Caribbean country of Dominica as he speaks out against gay cruises coming to his country and how he does not want them coming "to the island to conduct themselves in any immoral way."

Or what about the members of the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas protesting at a fallen soldier's funeral because they believe God is punishing this country for its tolerance of homosexuality.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see Jesus as a man who would stand in picket lines condemning homosexuals. But again, maybe it's just me.

Or what about countless churches who refuse to let homosexuals "place membership." Sorry, you can't be on our role because of your sins and lifestyle. Maybe they should kick out the liars, the gossipers and the greedy, too. Oh, wait a minute.....we can hide those sins, so never mind.

It gets to be so rampant and so anti-Christ that you have celebrities like Elton John saying that we should ban religion because it "promotes hatred and spite against gays." It's not that his opinion that religous people hate gays that bothers me. That view is so overstated, worn out and uninteresting anyway. It's the word "promote" that gets me; that he thinks Christians make it a point to push an agenda of hate onto others.

We have too quickly become anti-gay, anti-same-sex marriage, anti-equality. We are anti-so many things these days, that I have started to wonder; what are we FOR?

Well, I will tell you what I am for. I am for anyone who accepts homosexuals as a fellow son or daughter of God. I am for anyone who believes this hate and injustice should stop immediately. I am for anyone who is friends with homosexuals and treats them like Jesus would. I am for anyone who remembers that Jesus, more often than not, would rather be at the houses of the "sinners" than with the religious elite of His time.

If you are one of those who believes we should hate homosexuals and we should do what we can to make life for them miserable, then please come find me. I will debate you until I am blue in the face for the other side. Remember, there is a HUGE difference between hating homosexuality and hating homosexuals.

We've all talked a lot lately about changing hearts, and not just behavior or actions. Our response too often to the debate has been "you need to stop being gay because it is wrong and you are wrong," when it should be, "Jesus loves you endlessly and completely. You and I are exactly alike in that we will always fall short of what He wants. But as best as I can, I will love you endlessly and completely, too."

What a different world it would be if we were perceived like that. What a difference it would make if celebrities in interviews said something like, "everyone could learn a thing or two from Christians because they love and care about the weak and the sick, the unlovely and the unlovable, the unappreciated and the underrepresented."

Hate is ugly, it is pathetic, and it is wrong. We as Christians should have no part of it. So who cares if the agenda being pushed is whether or not to allow gay marriage? It's irrelevant. Let's think above that issue and more about the person, the individual with a soul, the child of God. It's a much better way to live.

-Ryan