You can come and join our group; you're just like us...

Going to a school like Harding University (or better yet, HU), I tried to get involved with social clubs as best I could (a private school's answer to the Greek system). It's funny though, whenever I tell someone at work or an acquaintance from a state school what it was like to pledge and be a part of that group, I always feel like Baby Emile hearing it from Rick Latimer in The Principal.

"You're a wuss."

See, I never had to endure beatings or much verbal or emotional abuse. We never demeaned our fellow members or anyone that was pledging. And we certainly never did anything like what I heard about happening at a sorority at DePauw University in Greencastle, Indiana. Read the NY Times article here.

Basically, the sorority chapter of Delta Zeta, who has their national recognition of their 100-year anniversary in 2009, decided to do a little bit of reorganization at DePauw. Apparently, DZ has a reputation for having some of the smarter girls in their fold, such as some of the math and science majors (and if you were in class Sunday morning, you all saw my smart/nerdy correlation graph). Well, in simple terms, the vast majority of the "overweight," those that were not "conventionally pretty women," and the minorities were asked to leave the sorority and move out of the house.

It was covered up by interviewing the women and informing them that they were asked to leave because they were not fully committed to the sorority. Only 12 were asked to stay. Predictably, they were the slender, pretty, blonde girls.

Honestly, I have to ask myself, "How the heck does something like this happen in two-thousand-freaking-seven?!" Are we as a culture and a society still so preoccupied with things like someone's weight, their ethnicity or their appearance that we sacrifice our own dignity and destroy another's sense of self-worth for something as ephemeral and preposterous as a sorority? This story is just beyond belief to me.

So I have something to say to those girls who were labeled and evicted: Come stay with us. You're just like us. Some of you are smart, some are not so smart. Some are in shape, some have work to do. Some are from this country, some are not. Some are outgoing, some like to keep it in. Again, you're just like us.

And let me speak to anyone who is reading this who may have had doubts about themselves or their appearance or how they are perceived and accepted.

First of all, it is hard. It's hard to ignore all of that stuff, isn't it? It's hard to not feel wanted or accepted or loved. It's tough to face people when you have been labeled that way, especially by your friends or your "sisters."

Second, you are NOT defined by what anyone you ever meet says about you. You are wonderfully and beautifully made (Psalm 139:13-15), you are made in God's own image (Genesis 1:26-28) and, if you finish the chapter, God decided immediately that what he made was very good.

Lastly, it is because of who you are and your uniqueness and your undeniably personal qualities that God loves you just the way you are. He doesn't ask you to be someone you're not. If you're shy, He is OK with that; He has other plans for you. If you can't stand your appearance, don't think about it - when He looks at you, God sees the most beautiful thing He has ever created.

If you were put in a situation like these young girls, I am so sorry that it happened. If people can not see what you are worth and instead base their opinions of you on peripheral, foolish things, I can not apologize enough.

So if you want a place where someone will love you and accept you, find us; come hang out with us. I hope we can make it our business to show you how incredible you are.


Ryan

The definition of irony is I promised this post would be done four weeks ago

I really love a lot of different kinds of music for a lot of different reasons. Before I wrote this, I went and looked at the eclectic and unusual mix of music I have at home. Within a few inches of each other, I have Buddy: The Buddy Holly Musical, Wolfmother, Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits, and Norah Jones.

But one of my favorite all-time bands is Third Day; just a good, old-fashioned, Christian, southern rock band who just happen to write incredible rock and worship songs. And one of my favorite songs from Third Day is Love Song. If you don't know it, the lyrics go like this:

I've heard it said that a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times has he broken that promise
It has never been done.
I've never climbed the highest mountain
But I walked the hill of calvary

Just to be with you, I'd do anything
There's no price I would not pay
Just to be with you, I'd give anything
I would give my life away.

I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
How may times has he broken that promise
It can never be done
I've never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea
          
I know that you don't understand
the fullness of My love
How I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you don't realize
how much that I gave you
But I promise, I would do it all again.

Just to be with you, I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay
Just to be with you, I gave everything
Yes, I gave my life away.

To me, the lyrics in this song are so moving and true, I sometimes tear up when I listen to it. The message about sacrifice and what Jesus did and and will do for us is amazing, not just in the words, but to actually think about it, reflecting on the story, and how it affects me and you not just on a page or in a song, but personally.

But what I love most about this song is not the part proclaiming Jesus' sacrifice, but rather how He has never failed and never will fail in his promises; a striking dichotomy to how we as humans normally act. My all-time favorite Ryan-to-Allison promises that I break are:

5. I promise I will make the bed before I leave
4. I promise I will go see that scary movie with you
3. I promise I will do the laundry tonight before bed
2. I promise I will go to the gym with you when I get home
1. I promise I will stop looking at Fantasy Baseball in 5 minutes

We as humans, I believe, always have good intentions. We try desperately to put other people in front of ourselves whenever we can. But let's face facts: we're fallen, we're broken, and we have a hard time keeping the simplest of commitments.

For me, an expert on breaking even the simplest of promises, I have seen that one of the most devestating ways to hurt a person is to answer them with the word "no." This couldn't be more true when we pledge something to someone.

"Were you able to pick up some food like you said you would?"

No.

"Are we going to be able to go on that vacation you promised us?"

No.

"You said mommy would be alright, is she going to be alright?"

No.

We wish for the best and always promise the best, but sometimes life just doesn't let us deliver. Fortunately, the exact opposite is true with Jesus. Look at these words from 2 Corinthians:

"For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by me and Silas and Timothy, was not 'Yes' and 'No,' but in him it has always been 'Yes.' For no matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ. And so through him the 'Amen' is spoken by us to the glory of God. Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ."

To know that for every promise God has made to me, through his son, the answer is "yes," it touches me immeasurably more than a Third Day song. All that he has offered, all that he has prepared, all the grace that I don't deserve; it is still possible through Jesus.

I hope the pledge and commitment God has made to us is not easily forgotten. But more importantly, I pray that we remember His answer will never fail to be yes. His promises will never go unbroken.

-Ryan


(Hopefully I can keep up with this thing better these days and, as always, I appreciate your feeback. Yes, even yours, Regan)